


Perfect, ethereal, unreachable

by ladywongs



Category: Tokyo Ghoul, Tokyo Ghoul:re
Genre: F/M, Family, Fluff and Angst, No Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-22 23:11:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8304848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladywongs/pseuds/ladywongs
Summary: He taught her the courage of stars, with shortness of breath he explained the infinite, how great and beautiful it truly was the mere fact of existing in this world. Kaneki knew loads of things and now his name was nothing but a deserted memory.





	

**Author's Note:**

> As always, excuse any grammar mistakes!

**—o—**

 

Kaneki knew many things.

Hinami loved to think of him as a wandering book, a book with tiny slippery legs. Its delicate pages slowly swaying with the symphony of the wind, its infinite words soaring the skies like birds. Kaneki knew many things. He had a passionate knowledge of peculiar words for which Hinami showed an intense curiosity _(Onii-chan, how do you read this?)_ and she’d smile at the realization that he always had an answer under his sleeve, like a hidden secret. He was perfect.

At least, for Hinami, he was.

His perfection reaches unsuspected limits. Hinami knows she shouldn’t think that way. People are like shooting stars, carrying a light that it’s slowly vanishing away, losing its radiance, losing its life. And once the light is gone, there is no turning back. But Kaneki wasn’t like that, he wasn’t. He was perfect.

Like in those mornings where the sun was brighter than usual and the doors of Anteiku waited for her wide open, with Kaneki smiling at her, holding a mug of coffee and whispering a cheerful “good morning, Hinami-chan” that filled her heart with the purest joy. Or like that afternoon when despite having lots of work to do in the kitchen, he put them all aside to sit on the floor and read a book with her, both in silence, even if Hinami was constantly peering at him from behind the pages, with trembling fingers and a beaming heart.

And although his black hair vanished like a faint drizzle being trailed by the wind _(wow, onii-chan, it’s like snow in your head!)_ , although everyone warned her to be careful, that he was not the same anymore and that she might end up being hurt… how could they affirm such things? How could Kaneki have changed so much if every time she visited him, he’d smile like he used to? “I’m glad you came to visit me,” he’d said, Hinami coming out through the door holding Tsukiyama’s hand, “it makes me very happy to see you again.”

And while the group spent the next hours discussing plans that Hinami had no clue about, Kaneki used to wrap her little body inside of his arms, her little back crashing against his chest, his voice firmly resounding through his skin while giving tons of orders here and there. Then, she’d flick up her gaze, her tiny fingertips caressing the exhausted skin of his arms firmly looped around her, hearing her own heart flutter due the proximity. And Kaneki would look down once the reunion was over, smiling tenderly and brushing away the bangs of her hair. “I think we need a new haircut, don’t you think?”

Then Hinami wonders why everything feels so unreachable yet perfect at the same time. Like when she found him sinking his face inside the palm of his hands, blurting out a heavy sigh that Hinami knew was not a good sign. _He needs me._ So she approached, embracing her little arms around his neck because no one inside that house seemed brave enough to do it. He enveloped her hand around his, eye-bags way too disturbed to even look at.

“I’m _fine_ , Hinami.”

But that wasn’t true, it never was. Hinami knew it long after when things got worse and everything she once considered a family (her new home, a hope, _him_ ) vanished like shooting stars. She knew it when she remembered that time when she got lost in the forest, playing with her dad. She wanted to chase the rainbow, catch it like fireflies inside a mason jar. She thought she knew the place where the rainbow touched the ground; she thought she could reach it. The same was true of Kaneki. Perfect, ethereal, _unreachable._

He taught her the courage of stars, with shortness of breath he explained the infinite, how great and beautiful it truly was the mere fact of existing in this world. Kaneki knew loads of things and now his name was nothing but a deserted memory.

“He got very handsome, don’t you think?” Eto asks on top of a building, both staring at Haise abandoning the CCG building along with his friends while the boy laughs, giggles, smiles, a sound that makes Hinami’s heart flutter again after being dead for so long.

The words of her superior are sweet as honey and bitter as coffee. However, Eto is not strong enough to destroy her. She leaves the building with a chuckle and Hinami clenches her fists, teary eyes dwelling on him. _Look at me, please, look up, look up, look at me…_

But he never does.

“Do you know why the universe was made, Hinami?” he said once when he found her crying days after the death of her mother.

“To be seen by your eyes. But you can’t do that if you cry, right?”

Hinami knows she just broke the promise. Her eyes pour out the tears again and she no longer cares about the stupid universe or if the pages of the book she’s currently reading get moist again. Because she knows the popular opinion, she knows how stupid it is to be waiting for someone that might never come back, something so unreachable as the rainbow she once tried to chase when she was little. But she knows he loved her as much as she loved him. She knows she loves him still; so much she could die for it. And he loves her too, even when he doesn’t remember.

“Why you look at me like that?” he asks, bewildered, forgetting the main reason of the interrogatory, and suddenly the scene becomes more intimate that he thought it could be.

Hinami looks more tired than usual behind the glass.

“I’m glad you came to visit me,” she mutters, and she knows he can hear her voice.

_It makes me very happy to see you again._

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda wanted to pour out Hinami's platonic love for Kaneki, her faithfulness towards him and how she kept on waiting for his returning despite the circumstances.


End file.
